Painful skin to shed

Help. I need a freakin waambulance. I am dancing at my own pity party! I decided I should have one when I realized I grew hard with life. My hopeful outlook was exciting, thrilling, motivating as youth is. When did I get hard? How did that happen? Hard on people, on any weakness, my own ambitions, love. Like if this was the last game of the season, almost cutthroat. Got carried away with the ideal for the rational mind. I kinda miss whoever I was. What is this? I don't feel things with wild wonder, with tenderness, with romance. It grew wreckless after awhile, then I needed a somewhat numb time. Worked, but now I am not quite comfortable in this skin. Geez, "growing pains" how typical. I know I know nothing and that is the bit of innocence I am hanging on to. I'll stop before this gets Plath-ugly.

but seriously folks, late solitary nights can do terrible tricks on a mind
pardon me..all storms pass